The Age of Solipsism
From Sally Campbell – Roger Pearman and I worked together in training and development with a focus on leadership. This was here in the UK, in Europe and America. I recently received this from Roger and it reminded me how polarized much of the British media, politics and organisations have also become in the last 10 years. Perhaps worth thinking over?
The Age of Solipsism
What is the definition of solipsism? The quality of being very self-centred or selfish. “She herself elicits scant sympathy, such is her solipsism and lack of self-awareness”. And the philosophy? The view or theory that the self is all that can be known to exist. “Solipsism is an idealist thesis because ‘Only my mind exists’ entails ‘Only minds exist’”. Solipsism holds that knowledge of anything outside one’s own mind is unsure; the external world and other minds cannot be known and might not exist outside the mind.
Roger’s recent experience:
Recently I was invited to provide a webinar for the Association for Training and Development (ATD) which is among the largest professional groups in the USA. My subject was the use of the Pearman Personality Integrator for personal development and workplace effectiveness. At the end of the webinar, time was allowed for questions about the presentation, and the moderator, a Black woman hired by ATD, selected questions from among the participants; she selected only questions that asked my opinion on racism and prejudice. Though initially shocked because these issues, though real, had nothing to do with my topic, I nonetheless answered that those issues were important and complex, and in general, my view was such matters could get in the way of individual growth and well-being and that was unacceptable.
The entire dynamic of how this unfolded—the clear set up and effort to expose me in some way—prompted me to think about the motivations of those involved, and even assuming good intentions, it is troubling. This led me to the realization that there is a fundamental flaw in the movement to blame other people for all kinds of things, including how they “feel” about something someone said or did.
Let me be clear: racism, sexism, misogyny, homophobia, and other kinds of prejudice are real and thoroughly threaded throughout our society in structural and cultural ways. There is no escaping the horrific past and current violence against people who are considered “different” either because of skin color, orientation, or other factors denoted as “different.” We seem to have no limit in our capacities for cruelty and inhumanity, especially to something we consider a higher good. And we can be astonished at how robust these forces are, even after years of discussion and appalling evidence. While neuroscientists have a convenient explanation that we are wired for status and safety which are threatened by those who are “different”, such propositions are incomplete. I’m inclined to understand these issues not just by our biology but the psychological problem of subject-object relations, in which our psychology is subject to something we don’t understand or can’t objectively analyze without personal courage and self-evaluation.
As Eleanor Roosevelt plainly said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent,” neurologists have confirmed—our feelings, emotions, and moods are entirely of our own creation. What another person says or does may prompt us to have an emotional response, but that response is from within the context of our own psychology. The most important question is why am I having a certain response? What in me prompts this feeling of anger or annoyance or joy and pleasure at what another individual says or does? So, the flaw in the movement to claim that other people do things that are “hurtful” or cause “me to feel diminished” is simply false. Those feelings belong entirely to oneself, created within the individual psychology of the person having those feelings.
Emotions and feelings are important sources of information and should be used to prompt us to think through the situation and to reflect on the response we want to make, and if we are constructive-minded, to select a response that has the possibility of reframing the situation. In other words, we need to realize that our emotions are informing us what we are “subject” to in our own view of the world, and if we want to change those feelings, we will need to objectively understand them, their linkage to our assumptions about things, and construct the preferred view we want to promote. As Gandhi said, “we need to be the change.”
The so-called “woke” movement is based on the assumption that those who are awake to the “isms” that diminish others will make other choices. In practice, however, this has been translated into the idea that if you offend me with your ideas and actions, I am morally superior and have the right to diminish you. It is ironic that the very issue the woke movement seeks to address, it promotes. How can it be that a professor alerts students to literature that is rough and exposes racism is fired for having the book in the course? How can it be that an art teacher who alerts students that religious art will be viewed is fired for including a painting of Muhamad? How can it be that invited speakers are shouted off the stage because some participants who chose to be present wanted to prevent the speaker from talking? All of these examples and more, illustrate the distortion that has emerged and the fabricated justification of moral superiority for having done so. Just because individuals have a “feeling” about something, doesn’t make the something wrong or objectionable. And yet, this is where we are in our social lives. On a massive scale, people have adopted the false premise that feelings equal thoughts, and actions based on those thoughts are self-justifying.
What is at work? How have we gotten here and how we will move forward? We can accept that cultural forces have molded all kinds of views and perspectives. And technology through social media has made it easy to reinforce these views at the speed of light. All of these dynamics have seemingly made Solipsism, the view or theory that the self is all that can be known to exist, a core to the way people operate. The danger of course is in a society of people solipsisticly oriented, there is no room for constructively exploring where your reality starts and ends, especially in relation to the realities of those around you. The solipsistic are psychologically chained to see only shadows of themselves as surely as any who cannot reflect and consider that there are more complex truths to life.
The inescapable fact is, as Martin Luther King noted, “In a real sense all life is inter-related. All men [people] are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly. I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be, and you can never be what you ought to be until I am what I ought to be…This is the inter-related structure of reality.” King’s sentiments cannot be realized in a world of solipsists. So, to move forward, we need to embrace the notion of mutual accountability and personal responsibility for how we are going to live together. It would be ideal for individuals to develop an understanding of their emotions and become brain savvy with redirecting those energies into constructive action. It would be ideal to engage in discussions that begin with the premise much is to be discovered and explored while finding path that accepts interdependence and mutual regard. We need to demonstrate courage by asking simply how can we live together and begin the messy process of finding the path less travelled.
Dr Roger Pearman, May 2023
Roger is the Managing Partner of the innovative and dynamic talent development firm TalentTelligent, LLC, developer of the Pearman Personality Integrator, Type 360 and Leader Agility 360, author or co-author of I’m Not Crazy, I’m Just Not You, People Skills Handbook: Action Tips to Improve Your Emotional Intelligence, HardWired Leadership, Introduction to Type and Emotional Intelligence, and many other publications.
Reference: Very readable!
Pearman, R.E and Albritton, S.C. I’m Not Crazy, I’m Just Not You. 3rd Edition Publisher: John Murray Press; ISBN: 9781529378290
With many thanks to Roger for sharing his work with the Voice, and to Sally for the connection!
